I had a rather surreal movie watching experience this weekend. When I first saw the movie Big I would have only been slightly younger than the main character so, naturally, I saw the movie through the eyes of the boy and his friend. I imagined it would all be so cool…to be big, to get to do all the grown up things, but other than that it was just a fun movie. Twenty years later I find myself watching this movie and suddenly I’m the grown up version and living in the world of all the adults in the movie. What the freak happened to me!
Honestly it was one of the most introspective movie-viewing experiences I have had in a very very long time. The movie is incredibly insightful into the coming of age experience and the beauty of the different stages of our lives. It stirred such a mixed bags of emotions: a nostalgic sadness for the loss of innocence and unlimited potential of childhood, a desire to be more playful and appreciative of the gift of life in my current situation, and an appreciation for the maturity and depth of relationships created in adulthood. It really was a fantastic experience.
Some of my thoughts after this experience… will I ever experience the mentality of childhood again? (If not the preciousness of that time is mindboggling considering the length of eternity). Was there an ‘adult’ consciousness that was present the entire time only withheld by biological mechanical limitations? (Pure speculation but thought provoking). Have I grown up into the person I wanted to be? Have I grown up into something that is even more complex and meaningful than I could have even conceived as a young person? Who will I become in twenty more years?